About me page title image

I guess this is the page where I should tell you guys a bit about the person behind the blog! So here goes…

Gemma Bell (Misfitmuser)

About page picture 1 - Gemmaabout me - gemma

So… who am I?

My names Gemma, I’m happily married to my ‘prince charming’ who has changed my life for the better in ways he will never understand. I’m (at the time of writing this in 2018) 26 years young. I’m originally from a small town in the Welsh Valleys, however, after meeting my husband I’ve moved to Cardiff.

I’m a natural ginger, however, I do love to change my hair colours quite often. (I’m always getting bored) I’ve been ginger with brown, dark brown, black, blonde, red, pastel pink and now a purple pink.

I’m not slim but I’m not huge either. I honestly can’t tell you my current size because it varies in every single shop and item. My style I’d say is mostly dark clothing, either living in jeans or leggings and a dark top or some baggy lazy t-shirt that I’ll throw on for that day.

I’m pretty random and sometimes my attention span is worse than a 2-year-olds! Random memes are definitely one of my favourite things to browse, especially on a bad day. (Did anyone say icanhascheezburger?) 

about me photo - Gemma emo youngerGrowing up I went through a few different looks and I’ve recently uncovered some photos which show just how far I decided to take my poor emo phase. (Everyone had one growing up in the 2000’s right?) Go on take a look, it’s cringe beyond belief. Even I have no words. (Although.. when I’m bored of the pink… I want that hair back maybe!) Although, funnily enough, I took weird photos back then and I had zero self-confidence. Funny that.

I’m very chatty online, however, I hate social situations. Pretty much always been that way but worse so as the years have gone by. They just feel way too much for me and I start to get very anxious. I’ve always been pretty shy and quiet and I guess that will never really change. Once you get to know me… I don’t know. Maybe you’ll tolerate me. You never know!

That’s all I can really think of but there’ll probably be Q&A posts later down the line where I can tell you a bit more that may not have been answered in any of my posts.

 

about me image 2 - archie What are my likes?

Well, I have always been an animal lover. Growing up I loved bunnies. I was obsessed. Could have something to do with a certain stuffed bunny toy I had growing up and being surrounded by stuffed toys, pictures and whatnot of them. I had one of my own for a while, a white ball of fluff named Stitch. I was also converted into loving cats by my youngest sister who had two cats when we were younger. Lucky and Pippa they were. Lucky was a calm little black and white boy and Pippa a moody tortoise cat. The cat to the right, is my current boy, Archie the great. (He’s watching me type this so I best be nice)

I love drawing and I have my own little style that I do. I really enjoy gaming on a good day and am fond of the GTA series, I also love some indie games like Doki Doki Literature Club, Night In The Woods and whatever else seems good at the time to me. Reading, I’ll read anything. Although, I do love Nanotales by Niv Navoth and I have the entire collection of the Love Hina manga.  Lastly, because this blog is proof I love to write. Growing up I would write stories, poems, plays and well anything that came to mind. Now my writing passion is put into this blog.

I like makeup and at the moment I have more than I even use. I am teaching myself how to apply makeup better so I can use it as a tool to improve my self-image and help towards my mental health recovery.

So why am I writing about mental health?

Gemma and james hm about meI’ll summarise my story here a little bit. So, since I was about 12 I’ve suffered from some form of depression. I had a little help back then but just as all teenagers are like, I thought I knew better and didn’t need help. I thought I was doing okay for a while but then my life would change. I’d been through sexual assault. I was then used and abused for a while by people older than me. I then met my ex who then abused me for 7 long years. All the while thinking I wasn’t that bad. (Even though during the years with my ex, I was actively self-harming and attempted suicide a few times) I met my husband and things were great but in 2018 I found that I hit a brick wall and broke down. Only this time, I actually noticed it and sought help. I’m receiving help now which is great but I am focusing on helping my recovery on my own as well.

I suffer from depression and anxiety. Possibly even PTSD after the years of abuse and trauma that I had been through which is going to be explored. I have suffered in silence for so long and never found the strength to speak up and get help. Now I have and it’s a great help. I wanted to make this blog in order to help others. I want to help people who may not realise they are struggling to maybe connect with my posts and seek help. I want to make sure my story is heard and that mental health is talked about more openly. I’m also trying to get better, for myself and my husband who is pictured to the left. (It was Halloween night on our honeymoon.. no judging!)

Final words

Thank you for coming to my blog and reading my content.

If this sounds like someone you know then do consider sharing my posts/site with them via the easiest method of doing so and point them in the direction of getting help. If you’re afraid of doing so then maybe just reach out to them. Ask them if they’re okay and remind them that you are there for them if they need you.

If anything that you have read even remotely resonates with you and you are struggling then please speak to someone. Talk to your friends, your family, your doctor. Anyone. If you’re hesitant to do that at the moment then please check out my links to support and my useful recovery resources then whilst you try to find that strength. However just please bear in mind, reaching out for support is a massive step forward in your recovery and it will be the best thing you will ever do.