anniversary title
Mental Health

My first wedding anniversary

So, on Sunday it came around. My anniversary, I’ve officially been Mrs Bell for over a year and with the husband for 3 years. Quite an achievement. Especially with how tough this year has been with my mental health.

I planned most of the day out in advance (thank you Groupon and my old work for the discount email) Good job I did as on the day we were pretty skint!

bowling scores. anniversary loss
Gemma is Queen & Archie’s Slave

The gifts

To be fair. We both did this very last minute. I got mine Friday he got his Saturday. I mad rushed Tesco and he mad rushed Asda… As you do.

However, I think it worked out.

I got him a beers of the world gift set for £5, some lindt choc for £3.50, a bag of chews for £1 and 3 candles for £1 each.

He got me… well. This cute little set up below!

anniversaries post 1

ps: I LOVE the panda. It’s so soft and cute. He did wanna get me white zinfandel echo falls rose but… asda didn’t have any. He did get me summer berries instead which is a very reasonable subsitite I’d say. The man knows me well!

The day

Anyway for our anniversary itself the husband and I went out to town for a bit. Which was the WORST idea ever. It was manic. I was not coping. Couldn’t look in half of the shops because of how busy they were. Oops. Was nice where we did look though.

We ended up in a pub nearer where we were going to eat in the end for a few pints and a talk which was nice. It was quiet, perfect even considering I was freaking out in town.

anniversaries halo gameSo yeah, we did end up going to Hollywood Bowl, playing some arcade games. They got rid of Time Crisis but the hubby’s okay with that. Why? They’ve got a freaking Halo arcade machine there! Yes, HALO! So yeah, he was like a kid at Christmas. To be fair, they had a few new games. Then again that Time Crisis was getting old and when I worked there it was breaking down a bit so… it was a needed change.

We played a bit of pool, went over to Bella Italia for food with the Groupon. Yes, James did an entire pizza to himself. I had my favourite dish. The starters were a mixed bag. The mozzarella was amazing, dough balls were… meh. Yes, we drank just water. Didn’t wanna pay any more.

There was also these really cute lego animal statues which were amazing to be honest.anniversaries lego

 

Back at Hollywood Bowl we play some pool. We play 2 games and both times I lose by a stupid amount of points. Really? After some more pool and arcade, we headed home and just chilled cause my back and ribs were beyond killing me.

How I coped

anniversaries mealIn all honesty, in town. I didn’t. I should have known better considering it is the half term at the moment. But really?! On a Sunday to be THAT busy?! Man, that was something else.

I was fighting my mind the entire day because I wanted to enjoy it. I wanted to so badly. Being on and off was not helping…

It got it’s worst when we were eating food and I was just zoning out because my mind was telling me how bad it was. How rubbish. How I should have done better, made more effort done everything blah blah blah. James noticed bless his heart and tried reassuring me for a but. Just comforting me. It shouldn’t have to be that way but I’m glad he’s picking up on it and able to try and help.

He is my rock. I did enjoy it. I enjoyed the bowling and pool even if I ended up in more pain than I could have imagined. That’s okay though, it was worth it. My mind? not so much. However, that’s mental illnesses for you. They strike whenever, not just when it’s convenient.

I did pretty well and to be fair. It was nice to have time as a couple and try and be us. We hadn’t done that in a while. Not really since this mess with my mental health started. What better day than our anniversary to do it?

Further thoughts

It’s not much of a story, the pictures are nicer as you can see. However, it’s not the expense that matters. It’s the time you spend together.anniversaries us

You can spend a fortune and have the same type of day as you would for cheap/free. It’s not the gifts, or the money spent that matters. It’s what you do, it’s how you spend the time you have and I think we did well. It was an anniversary on a budget and to be fair. It was more enjoyable than having some fancy 3-course meal and what not would have been as that’d have been all we could afford otherwise.

When you struggle with your mental health you don’t normally take that into account. When my mind got the better of me. I didn’t. It was hard. However, my mind is a bully. A relentless bully. I did my best and James loved it. That’s all that matters.

Hopefully when I can cope better and am ever working again.. I can give him an ideal date that would even shut my head up. I kind of promised that I would when I can cope anyway to make up for the hospital rushes. The staying overnight with me. The worry and stress I put on him because it’s not fair on him.

Yet, he’s still here… and why you ask? I guess it’s because he loves me.

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– Gem

Follow Musings Of A Misfit on WordPress.com

Hi! I'm Gemma, a mental health and recovery journey blogger! My blog focuses on the effects of mental illness and the entire recovery process.

32 Comments

  • Melissa

    We usually just buy small gifts for anniversary or sometimes no gifts and we just go out to dinner, but the expense doesn’t matter. We love each other and we have weathered another year. That is what matters! 🙂 happy anniversary!

  • Monidipa Dutta

    Congratulations on your anniversary. I love reading stories like this. And I loved how you coped up with everything.

  • Laura Dove

    Happy anniversary! I’m glad you coped with it all. I spent my first wedding anniversary in hospital with a 2 day old baby, and our second wedding anniversary in hospital giving birth!!

  • Gervin Khan

    First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your first anniversary and I am glad that despite of something not good happened that time you still choose to be together and celebrate your anniversary in full happiness.

  • Claire

    Yes, had my 1st wedding anniversary few months ago too and it didn’t feel real! Time flies so fast. Seems like you two had an amazing time.

    • Misfitmuser

      The panda is the softest thing ever. I love it. Bella is delicious but I feel they’ve ruined my favourite dish! Which is gutting. Might have just been an off day though.

  • Elizabeth O

    What a lovely first Wedding Anniversary! It’s a nice feeling when you will receive each special presents to show how much you love each other.

  • Mommy Sigrid

    Oh wow! I never expected that you would feel that way on your anniversary. But it’s okay because you pulled through. It’s great on your part to have managed to cope with the day. You are one lucky girl to have an understanding husband. Keep it up and you will get through this because you have acknowledged that there is a problem. My parents have been married for 44 years. And we just realized that my mother has mental health issues. I dunno what to do now. I have alienated myself from her because I could no longer bear the emotional abuse and I have kids to protect. We don’t know how to deal with her because she can’t accept it. She doesn’t acknowledge that she has a problem. Since you did, I know you will be better at handling life. Keep it up! 😀 *hugs* Onwards to more anniversaries with James 😀

    • Misfitmuser

      Thankyou so much! Yeah, I never expected to end up feeling like an anxious mess to the extent I did nor did I expect my brain as soon as I sat down and relaxed for it to just start with the negative loop like it did. Its weird how it times it. He’s amazing though, he instantly noticed and it must drive him mad but he kept reassuring me. He’s such a sweetheart. I don’t know what I’d do without him. I had to accept there was a problem, it’s been lingering since childhood and I could keep kidding myself I’m okay and keep hurting myself or I could try and get help and I guess I chose the help option because my life is pretty good at the moment so why should I feel that way? I want everything to match up to the good I have now you know.

      Ouch, I can see how that’d be bad for you. 🙁 You had to do whats best for you and your children though so good on you for focusing on yourself and your family.

      Thankyou! Hopefully next year I’ll cope even better. I have an emotion regulation group therapy thing in the new year so fingers crossed thats some use to me.

      Thanks again though 🙂 <3 x

  • Surekha Busa

    I can say that it still a wonderful celebration of first wedding anniversary even if there is a negative loop that happened that day.

  • DenaJayne

    Awh happy anniversary, I hope you have many more wonderful years together.

    Ps, that panda is super cute and yay for the best wine, ever! xo

  • Kirsty

    Happy anniversary first off,I’m glad you made the most of the day even if you were struggling. Looks like you have a keeper in your partner hopefully many more happy years to come x

  • Azlin Bloor

    Happy anniversary! Sorry to hear that you had such a struggle with it, but thankfully, you do have someone who truly loves you, standing by you, and supporting you.

  • David Elliott

    I am sorry it made you feel like that. That would be so difficult to have things happen and feel like even little wrong things ruined the whole evening. You are right. It’s mostly about your time together rather than everything going right or wrong.

    • Misfitmuser

      Thankyou! I’m kind of used to it happening now, so it doesn’t really surprise me anymore. It wasn’t nice, but it was nice he noticed and we still had loads of fun before and after that time where I had zoned out to that loop. 🙂

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